Having seen one brand commemorate the greyest day of the year, we should've guessed another would come knocking to claim the year's longest night—which is Friday, Dec. 21, incidentally.
Who better than Trojan? (And yes, they chose to celebrate this particular date because "people have sex at night.")
The Big Sexy Album features Trojan Man and was created by 72andSunny New York. Inspired by the likes of get-it-on playlist regulars (Barry White, Elvis, Marvin Gaye, Madonna, Prince), the album features six sex-positive songs that work hard (not all night, but for a good 12 minutes) to get you mojo'd up.
...if not for sex, then maybe for karaoke. There's actually a lot that can be done on any given night, never mind the longest one.
Apart from the aggressively retro "Sex Toys Boop Boop Beep," titles include "I Touched a Penis Today," "Lesser Known Fetishes," "Let's Call Sex What It Is," "C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S." and "I Won't Go Bareback."
The latter (Western-themed!) is the most obvious rubber plug, but Trojan's also tossed in an equality message for good measure: "I like to wear condoms and people ask why/Well, ladies, birth control is not a solely female responsibility/When you're with this guy!"
Look at the times we're living in!
To the work's credit, it leans harder on its own kitschy charm than on its conscious incorporation of progressive themes. Because they aren't plugged as talking points, the larger message from Trojan (and 72andSunny) is that these are just normal things everybody should do anyway.
Below is the karaoke video for "I Touched a Penis." It's cute to hear Trojan Man wax folksy about exploring his sexual identity, even if it also manages to be insufferably twee, like Zooey Deschanel in the early seasons of New Girl (notably whenever this awkward thing happened. Seriously though, can we end this "gosh-gee guileless adult" trope? You didn't murder your inner child, we get it).
"C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S." features strong '80s vibes and a follow-along cursor played by a neon vulva. We credit Trojan not only for preaching the importance of the clitoris, but also for demonstrating how cool it is to know how to spell. (We like that part best.)
The songs are available on Spotify and Soundcloud, but the album actually drops Dec. 17. (We're not sure what the difference is. Maybe there's more songs, or an actual vinyl…?)
Queue them up ahead of Dec. 21, when night casts its longest shadow. Please don't forget that lingerie replaces underwear and doesn't go on top. Unless it makes you happy, in which case, live your best life.
And if you've got something to tell the brand, or just want to follow along, neon-vulva style, track #BigSexyAlbum on Instagram and Twitter.
Agency: 72andSunny New York