Miller's 'Seltzer Launch' Is Actually a Cheeky Anti-Seltzer Stunt
We're at T minus three days and counting until Miller Genuine Draft's first hard-seltzer launch on Thursday.
But Miller and agency Mischief USA are not introducing a new product to retail shelves. It's purely a publicity stunt, with the Molson Coors-owned brewer expressing its disdain for hard seltzers—and promising never to make one—by harnessing rocket power to blast other brands' offerings into space (or thereabouts).
Houston, they have a seltzer problem! This cheeky report from mission control provides clarity:
Fans can suggest which hard seltzers deserve a ride and follow the May 13 launch on Miller Lite's Facebook and Twitter channels at 4 p.m. ET.
"The idea came from one of our creative teams, working off a dead-simple brief: Miller is unapologetically beer—they would never in a million years launch a seltzer. Unless they could launch it a million light years away from our planet," Mischief partner and executive creative director Kevin Mulroy tells Muse.
"Other brands, including some of our siblings, make other things, too," adds Miller vice president Sofia Colucci. "That's great. We launch beers, and we launch everything else into space."
Fizzy samples from other brewers will be loaded into a custom-fitted compartment—or, in layperson's terms, the "seltzer hole"—aboard a 21-foot projectile. We're not exactly dealing with NASA or SpaceX-level know-how here. This thing could explode on the pad, spraying carbonation all over the L.A. launch-site parking lot. Which would still make it more impressive than some space programs these days.
And let's hope Miller takes a different trajectory than that Tesla Falcon Roadster from SpaceX a few years back. Even millions of miles out in the cosmos, you should never drink and drive.
"We'll be launching a variety of different seltzers into oblivion to ensure they are all losers," Mulroy says. "The more seltzer we remove from the planet, the better."
UPDATE: No spoilers, OK? Let's just say the launch went off with a bang. (Then a clunk and a clank and a thud.)
We’ve never seen a launch go so horribly, horribly, right. So long, Seltzer. https://t.co/yMNtBbmqaO— Miller Lite (@MillerLite) May 13, 2021
Agency: Mischief @ No Fixed Address
Greg Hahn, Chief Creative Officer
Kevin Mulroy, Executive Creative Director
Bianca Guimaraes, Executive Creative Director
Jeff McCrory, Chief Strategy Officer
Will Dempster, VP, Content
Louanne Chan, Content Producer
Max Bingham, Associate Creative Director, Art Director
Brendan Scullion, Associate Creative Director, Copywriter
Victoria Di Valerio, Designer
Valentina Gutierrez, Jr. Designer
Jimmy George, Senior Strategist
Kerry McKibbin, President
Alison Whisenant, Account Director
Leila Chee, Business Manager
Oliver McAteer, Director of Development
Client: Molson Coors
Michelle St. Jacques, Chief Marketing Officer
Sofia Colucci, Global Vice President - Miller Family of Brands
Anne Pando, Sr. Marketing Manager - Miller Family of Brands
Production: Strike Anywhere
Pete Marquis, Director
Julia Swain, DP
Joseph Soutullo, Line Producer
Laurent Turlure, Production Designer
Victoria Guenier, Executive Producer
Editor: Jason Macdonald
Assistants: Max Redinger, Riley Donigan
Producer: Laura Molinaro
Exec Producer: Corina Dennison
Flame/FX: Ed Skupeen, Jessica Ivey
Color: Matt Rosenblum
Post Audio: Oso Audio
Mix: Daenen Bramberger
Sound design & editing: Leo Hicks
VFX: The Mill
Gavin Wellsman – Executive Creative Director
Keith Sullivan – Senior lead Compositor
Bethaney Phillips – Head of Production
PR: ICF Next